Wings

Finley comes downstairs where I am reading.

Finley: I want some wings.

Me with confusion : Uh... I don't think we have any.

F: Mom, I need some wings.

Me trying to clear cobwebs from my exhausted brain: Well, your dragon costume has wings. You can go get that out of your closet and put that on.

Finley disappears upstairs, then returns a moment later with dragon costume in hand.

I help her put in on.

F: I need to go outside so I can try to fly.

It's Been a While...

We've been busy, and when I do get a moment to breathe, I usually just want to nap or curl up in bed and watch (or more often, listen) to something interesting on TV. Since I actually have half an ounce of energy right now, I figured I should post something before everyone thinks I have abandoned my blog.

I had my first OB appointment last Friday. I called Chris afterward to let him know everything was okay. I had gotten an ultrasound, and so after he hung up, he told Finley that I had seen the baby.

Now, Chris has a habit... a bad habit, really. When some one asks him a question and he either isn't really listening or doesn't hear, he automatically answers, "Yeah." (That makes me crazy.) So Finley, not understanding the methods of modern medicine, asked if they cut me open to see the baby. Chris wasn't really listening, and answered, "yeah," and Finley freaked out. Thankfully, Reanna was there and heard her question, so immediately attempted to comfort Finley and get Chris to correct his unfortunate mistake.

When I got home, she still hadn't gotten the idea out of her head, and asked me if "it" was "still open" and could she look inside to see the baby.

So here is the first picture of the reason I have been feeling so lousy.

Laptops

I like to read books that pull me out of my little world. I've come to treasure books like Roots by Alex Haley, The Good Earth by Pearl Buck, and Life Is So Good by George Dawson and Richard Daubman. They help me think outside of my box.

You would think that I'd know better by now, but I watched 60 Minutes again the other week, and saw a piece on One Laptop Per Child, an organization started by some MIT guy (Nicholas Negroponte) to try to get laptops in the hands of every child in the world, specifically those in third world countries. Initial thought: that's nice. And then they showed a village in remote Cambodia where there was no running water or electricity. There was a shot of a family gathered around the soft glow of a laptop in their dark hut. Next thought: that's ridiculous.

There was a special hut built to house generators to power the laptops and the electronics necessary to connect them with the rest of the world. That's right. This little village with no running water is sporting a satellite dish.

I have come to the conclusion that 'Western Society' is whacked, and we are doing our best to screw up the rest of the world, too. We are trying to send the message that nobody should be content with their lives. We are trying to send the message that the goal in life should be to gain as much knowledge as possible in order to obtain that envied executive desk job where one only has to lift one's fingers so much as to type.

I was struck by a passage in The Good Earth that said, in essence, that when a man is put in a position where is is no longer necessary for him to physically work for his living, it opens him up to a greater danger of corruption. Think about the men with desk jobs who inadvertently have become addicted to Internet porn. The man behind a plow hasn't the time for that.

It seems that there is a message being sent to the world that no one should be content to simply work and survive. The 'American Dream' is the sentiment that we should never be content with what our parents achieved, but that we should 'rise above' and try to get more stuff.

Let me clarify. I am not saying it is wrong to try to 'better yourself' through education and a higher paying job. I am say that we have devalued those who are content with life as it was given them. We are dishonoring those, who by Western standards, are 'poor' (don't have a car, computer, or [gasp] running water) and take pride in wrestling an existence from the earth.

Forget the laptop, Negroponte... If I lived in the bush of Africa, I'd rather have a cow.

Indoor Play

When the weather outside isn't nice enough for me to want to be outside watching the kids, I have to draw on my childhood experiences to keep the kids occupied. One of my favorite things to do was to build houses or forts out of couch cushions and blankets. Finley isn't big enough yet to handle it all on her own, so I usually end up building something for them.




Of course, it doesn't last long, and the living room becomes an obstacle course.

Ronnie

Ronnie called Chris' cell at 11:45 pm last night. He had fallen and couldn't get up. Chris had to go over, unlock his door, and call the fire department to help get Ronnie back up.

Ronnie has been in and out of the hospital at least one other time since I last blogged about him. He had been staying out in Murfreesboro, but this last week returned to his house. Chris says he hasn't really cleaned anything... Just covered the bed with blankets and sprinkled baby powder on the carpet..

He hasn't paid the mortgage and says the bank account is frozen. He thinks his brother's ex had been taking money out of that account, but he doesn't know how to even begin to balance the account. So in light of the fact that the house will be foreclosed on and the apparently frozen bank account (is all this still in Olene's name I wonder?), he is selling anything he can. So far, the only thing he has been able to sell is his fridge. So now Ronnie is living in a house without a fridge. How much sense does that make?

As I laid awake waiting for Chris to come back home, I thought about people who refuse to be truly helped, people who refuse to do what it takes to put themselves in a better situation. I tried to think of a biblical example to help us handle the situation. The only example I could think of was the rich, young ruler. Unfortunately there aren't many (if any) examples of life-suckingly-needy people that Jesus had to deal with.

I was reminded of a girl I met when I first moved to TN. She 'befriended' me, but every time she called, she needed something. I don't remember her every asking me how I was doing or expressing any interest on who I was as a person. She even told me that the reason she befriended me was because she had a crush on a friend of mine. When I finally confronted her on the issue, she told me she couldn't believe how much I misunderstood her and that I had hurt her feelings, and I never heard from her again.

When Chris's phone rang again at 5:15 am, the answer became clear to me. I don't think Jesus would ever turn down a person who was truly in need, but I am sure that he set up clear boundaries. Yes, it is okay to call at any time if you are on the floor and can't get up... but Ronnie called again at 5 to tell Chris that he was okay and wanted to know if Chris wanted to stop in and check on him before Chris went to work. Not okay.

Babies

Before I had Finley, I could count on one finger the number of times I remember holding a newborn. In the hospital after she was born, I asked the nurse to check to make sure I had put her diaper on properly. I remember her crying as I felt helpless and stupid. I've come a long way.

A week after a woman initially might suspect that she is pregnant (due to a missed period), a wee little heart begins to beat in the developing baby. Three weeks after that, the fetus has already developed all its major organs. Amazing.

I remember watching an ultrasound of Joe wiggling around at 8 or 9 weeks, and it looked like he was snuggling into me. He still snuggles.

Finley was an easy baby to carry. She didn't get that big, and when she wanted to move, she would just fidget or stretch out a little. I really enjoyed feeling her movement inside of me. Joe wasn't so fun. He would kick and jump and push on me as hard as he could.

Now I've got another peanut-sized baby growing in my belly. I'm sick, I'm exhausted... but I am so looking forward to meeting this new one.