Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life

Lately, I've felt myself slipping into a habit a negativity. I like to think of myself generally as having a realistic view of life. At my best moments, it helps me think through things, see potential problems, and figure out ways to avoid those problems, but still have hope that all things are possible. At my worst moments, all I see are the negatives which leads to a hopelessness that makes me want to shut down and give up.

It's been years since I've seen the movie The Life of Brian, but it is hard to forget the last scene (if I'm remembering it correctly) where Brian, the mistaken Christ) is up on a cross, singing with all his might, 'Always look on the bright side of life.'

Absolutely ridiculous, I know, but it's been a good reminder to me lately: something to help me look above the stress and relax a bit and maybe even laugh.

Yet Another Update

The doves must have read my blog. I haven't seen them since my last post.

Dear Doves, If you are out there, please know that I didn't mean to hurt your feelings and that you are welcome to come to our new place if we sell. Sincerely...

Chris found Joe's blanket this weekend. It was stashed in the corner behind a speaker behind a chair in our living room. Another random toy was found behind the other speaker. No one has admitted to the crime yet, although Z is our prime suspect.

Today, we normally head out to the library, but after an incredibly stressful day yesterday, decided we should stay home. We had yet another bad night, with a constipated Z not sleeping well and keeping me awake. Then, just after dropping Fin off to her classes at 9, I got a text saying someone would be there to look at our house at 10. I raced home (hopefully not breaking the speed limit by too much), plopped Joe and Z in front of the TV, and cleaned like a mad woman. Crusty breakfast dishes, unmade beds,vacuuming, etc, etc, I managed to take care of it all in the half hour allotted (all the while worrying that Z would drop her load in the midst of it all). When we got home about 11:30, there we no signs of visitors, not even the standard realtor card tossed onto the kitchen counter. We left to pick Fin up, then got home again about 12:30. I put a sleeping Z down in her crib, took a deep breath, then got another text. The agent was running very, very late, and they are on their way. Panic. I called our agent, and she told me to sit tight... not worry about leaving. So we had our first showing. I have to keep reminding myself that it will all be worth it in the end. There are dreams we are pursuing.

The Doves Are Back

Dear Doves (aka. Lovely Birds),

We have very much enjoyed having you as tenants the past two years, watching you raise your little families.
However, we thought we made it clear when we knocked down your nest last fall that your lease would not be renewed. We are attempting to sell the house and, sorry to say, the droppings that are a result of your residency would probably not be considered a selling point by any potential buyers. I thought this would be doubly clear when, yesterday, I ran out onto the porch, waving my arms and yelling, 'Shoo!'
Apparently, you know me better than I thought. You know that I am a big softy and have conflicting emotions, and really can't bear the thought of running out there every day to try to scare you off. Please don't make me sic my husband on you (although, in all honesty, I doubt his heart is any harder).

Sincerely...

A few other things...

before I disappear back into the chaos of life.

Joe's special 'soft' blanket disappeared three days ago. Last I saw, Z had it. Come nighttime, it was nowhere to be found. I even checked trash cans in case she decided it was used tissue and threw it away. I don't know if I just missed seeing it, or if it is hidden in some mysterious crack somewhere in the house. It can fold up to be rather small. At least Joe hasn't seemed to mind too much. He hasn't even asked about it the last two nights. I think, no, I'm sure Chris and I are more upset about it than he is.

We dropped the price on the house, and finally have our first showing scheduled for Sunday. There are a few other houses in the neighborhood at the same price, but we have a better yard and an actual garage... so we will see. I'm not holding my breath.

It doesn't seem like I've been sleeping well. Usually, there is something that wakes me up in the middle of the night, and with all the potential life changes looming, my mind starts awhirling. An hour or so later, I'm back to sleep, but Zivah has been a bit of a booger lately, waking at 5:30 a.m. and refusing to lie back down. Ugh.

I salvaged a small fortune's worth of DeckMate screws from an old 2x4 coffee table and a couple end tables I built back in my single days. (sigh) I've been reminiscing a bit about my bedesk. I wish I had a picture to show you. Inspired by the 2x4 and plywood shelf my brother built for me to sleep on when I moved to Tennessee nearly 13 years ago, it stood 5 feet high. The top was a 3 by 6 foot platform I slept on. It was especially great in the winter (since heat rises). Below was a desk top with a shelf above it for my books. I've been daydreaming about building similar furniture for the kids when they get a little older. And who knows. If you come over in a few years, there might be another new-and-improved coffee table. I bet I could do better these days, especially if I take a few lessons from Louie in the art of furniture-making.

Midweek Update

Today, it was forty degrees outside. The kids and I were actually able to go outside, enjoy the weather, and let our bodies produce some natural vitamin D. I played at some weeding, the sun on my back, amazed at how warm the surface of the soil was. Tomorrow, it will be closer to fifty. I plan on ignoring the inside of the house as much as possible.

The other day, I had one of those 'teachable moments' with Finley. She took something without asking, then tried to hide it from me, fabricating some pathetic story about how this item was in her possession. When she told me she didn't know it was wrong to take the item, I asked her why she tried to hide it, and explained that when you feel like you need to hide something, that's a big clue that you are doing something wrong. The conversation ended with a few tears in her eyes, so I gave her a hug and told her I loved her. Then she went to her room and hid under her covers for an hour. That hour was one of my happiest moments as a parent. It seemed that for the first time, I could see real regret for her actions, not the regret that she might have to face unpleasant consequences. We still have a long way to go.

I've been thinking about faith a lot. How most of the time, there are things that make it easy to explain away faith into nothingness, but that is the nature of it. Then there are those rare times that have only one explanation.

A little something for you...

It was brought to my attention yesterday that I haven't been putting much on the blog lately. My apologies. It's felt a little crazy lately with the house on the market and me trying to keep the place clean, even though I know it is priced too high, and no one is interested in it as a result.

Anyway. Here's a video of our littlest person:

Joe's First People Drawing

Judah, Finley, Zivah, and Joe

Joe hasn't done a whole lot of drawing yet, and when he has, he has mostly just scribbled blotches of color. So, of course, I was incredibly excited when he showed me this picture a few minutes ago...