Love Covers

Back when it was winter break, something reminded the kids that they had baby books hiding in storage upstairs. They asked if they could get them out to look at them, and so I dug through the bins to retrieve them.

Finley's book is full of pictures and documentation of her growth progress. First bandages and hair clippings and notes of special memories crowd the spaces around pre-printed fill-in-the-blank lines.

Joe's baby book is almost as full.

Zivah's book goes blank around the sixth month.

I try not to feel guilty.

Somehow, though -in spite of my apparent neglect- this kid loves me.

We went sledding a few weeks back when we actually got some good snow. We were getting ready to wrap it up, when someone suggested making a train. Chris took the lead as engine, with Finley right behind. In my mind, I knew that Zivah, the smallest of the bunch, ought to be last, but somehow in the excitement, she ended up in between Joe and Finley. I instructed her to loop the rope of Joe's sled around her arm, and away they went halfway down the hill until Chris lost control and there was a collision of sleds and bodies. Zivah came up from the fray, crying, her arm hurting from the rope.

The next day, Zivah went to Grandma's house for a piano lesson. When Grandma asked her how the sledding was, Z mentioned that her arm got hurt and that "it was Mom's fault." But when pressed for the details, my mom told me she said, "Oh, I love Mom too much. Never mind," then refused to tell.

And every night, she tells me, "I love you so much! You are the best mom in the world!"

I don't know if she realizes it or not, but I haven't done a whole lot to deserve that kind of love. None of us have. But love covers over a multitude of sins, and insists on calling out the best in us. Love transforms us.