Lessons

Did you ever notice that when God brings people into our lives, we start to think that it is for their benefit and not necessarily ours? Like marriage. I was doing Chris a favor for letting him marry someone so wonderful as me. And then in the past four years of our marriage, God has shown me how incredibly selfish I am. (Can you believe it?) Yes, God let me get married so that I could grow as a person.
And then I thought we were suppose to have children so that we could love them and teach them how to live.
So tonight I asked Finley to do something simple: Pray for our food. Previously, she had been all too excited to get to pray, but tonight she refused. Okay, I said, Pray with me. I won't, she said. Then I tried to explain to her that Jesus gives us our food, and we need to thank him for it. I won't, she said. I could see that stubbornness building up in her, and eventually she chose to go to bed without her supper.
She went to bed, and I felt horrible, wondering if I had done the right thing. I asked God about it, and he didn't really answer that question... Instead he showed me that she was just following my example. Ouch.
So I learned tonight why it is that God allowed me to have children. I have children so that I have a second chance to learn the lessons I should have learned as a child.