Living With 'Disappointment'

We have a date set. July 16th is the day that our littlest will be extracted from my womb.

I have a few friends that seem to be made for giving birth. A year ago, I was on call for a friend of mine that was having a home birth. She called around 3 am to say that she might need me to watch her son, because she thought she was in labor. Around 6 am, Chris talked to her, and she said she thought the baby might be coming soon, but her son was still asleep. We hadn't heard anything by 8 am, so called, and she had had the perfect delivery while her son slept through the whole thing. That seems like the way God intended birth to be... you know, before the fall and all that...

I, on the other hand, haven't been made that way. Even a modest 6 1/2 pound baby rips me up. I wish I could experience a natural birth, and as I lie in bed at night, wonder if there is any way that would be possible. But apart from some incredible miracle, it just doesn't add up for me (or the baby). I have to live with that disappointment.

Joe seems to have a minor peanut allergy. I'm praying it doesn't get worse, as some kids seem to develop it after two years of age. Along with the 'asthma' problems he is having (which I am praying he grows out of), these health issues make me a little angry.

Then perspective kicks in. I often wonder how I would deal with greater loss.

Some good friends of ours (the Baggetts) are veterans in the department of great loss. They lost their daughter to leukemia after a six year battle, while the wife went through two liver transplants. They fought for healing, both medically and in faith that God could heal miraculously. (And those that would say 'they didn't have enough faith,' well, I pity you.) The husband lost his job, and is now self-employed. Like Job, in spite of loss, I have seen them continue to walk closely with God, without anger and with great peace.

I have heard a quote that says something to effect that 'anger never helps a situation.'

God has been talking to me about redemption a lot. All things work together for good. He is capable of redeeming even the ugliest situations if we let him. What a beautiful thing. In the midst of trial, we can have hope that God will use it for good, both for us and for others. It is amazing how much God has used the Baggetts' situations to bring healing, peace, and hope to countless others. To get into it would be to start writing an encyclopedia.

So, in light of my minor disappointments, there are things to be thankful for. I am thankful that my parents will be able to fly down just ahead of the birth of #3 and be able to stay a few weeks after to help out. They nearly missed Finley, as she was early. With Joe, I was convinced he would come early, so my folks came early and had to wait nearly two weeks (Or was it longer? Sorry, mom.) for his arrival. And I am convinced than healing from this c-section will be a lot easier that healing from the alternative.

I am also thankful I have yet to face any major trials. Seeing how I have to struggle through these minor issues, I'm not sure how I would hold up under bigger ones.