Therapy

The dirtying of one's fingers is a highly underrated experience.

I have felt a little not sane lately.

It might be the lack of sleep. Z's sleeping patterns are still rather irregular. And I've been up later these past few nights.

It might be the lack of thought-provoking, adult conversation. Finley is my most constant companion, but she isn't the greatest person to talk to. She tends to be very vague and talks in circles. Here is an example of our dinner conversation last night:

F- You do what you can do, Daddy does what Daddy can do, see, and Re does what Re can do, and Joe does what Joe can do, see, and we all do what we can do!

Me- What is it that I can do?

F- You do what you do!

Mind numbing, literally.

It might be the fact that I forget to eat because I am so busy taking care of everyone else.

It's probably a combination of these and other things. Regardless, I've been feeling a little off balance.

Today, Z fell asleep, and the kids (in order to preserve the last remaining remnant of my sanity) were plopped down in front of the TV. I ran out to check the mailbox (which was empty) and looked at my weedy flower bed.

I have been dreading the degrassification of this particular bed, thinking that the roots would have a grip of iron in the caked dirt and that I would have to resort to digging up the entire thing. I didn't want to go that route, as I have quite a few bulbs planted there, my favorites being a giant allium and some white, multi-flowering daffodils.

I bent down and yanked on a tuft of grass. It pulled out easier than I expected, the soil beneath light and fluffy from the mulch and grass clippings that have been decaying there over the seasons. My spirits rose, and I pulled out a few more handfuls of grass. Then I spotted some daffoldil bulbs that had surfaced, and I realized I couldn't bear to leave this bed like it was any longer. I ran inside to check on the kids, then headed to the garage to get my 'claw' and trowel.

A half an hour later, all the grass is gone and the bulbs are replanted. The soil lies naked, waiting to receive some plants, some cover. I am filled with a deep sense of satisfaction and accomplishment. I feel a little more sane.